Tools to Repel Negativity
What is the sum of judging and criticizing others, assuming the worst in people and situations, seeing life’s “glass” half-empty and not half-full, and taking what people say personally and always assuming they are talking bad about you?
The real definition: Negativity – n. lacking in constructiveness, helpfulness, optimism, cooperativeness.
My definition and what has proven itself to be true: Negativity – n. A consistent, unchanging, miserable perspective on life and loved ones with no chance of happiness, success, or fruitful relationships.
If it weren’t for the N-word, judging, criticizing, self-pity, ungratefulness and pessimism could not exist. It would be like fire without oxygen.
If negativity were a person, I think he would have an ugly face with a lot of oozing pimples and smell like leftover pizza. He also never wears socks. (Naturally, Negativity is a guy.)
How do we learn to extinguish Mr. Negativity when he pops his ugly face into your cubicle? Or when he walks into your house? Or enters your brain?
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. -Philippians 4:8
I don’t know about you, but there went all my thoughts. I’m sure there are a ton more (and I welcome any additions), but here are a few ways that Negativity’s foot pudding stinks its way into your life:
1. Judging and criticizing others
2. Feeling sorry for yourself; always assuming someone is talking about you when they make a general statement
3. Ungratefulness; seeing the bad instead of the good and feeling like you have less than you deserve
4. Pessimism; thinking everyone is out to get you, hurt you, or betray you
But how do we abolish Negativity all together? Basically, it comes down to asking yourself a couple questions, if you allow yourself the time to make these crucial evaluations:
1. Is it true? If you don’t know for sure that it’s true, the thought or accusation requires no further attention and it should go right into the garbage can of your brain. If it is true, act, don’t react—figure out how dealing with this thought will constructively help your life or loved one, not make things worse, and then act accordingly.
2. Is it your business? If you have no authority to deal with whichever person or situation has bogged you down, understand that God is in control. We may not always agree with the grace that God gives others, but it is our duty to pray for them. If a loved one is involved, you have every right to confront them and tell them you are concerned.
3. Is it worth it? Is this thought worth ruining your day, a friendship, or your marriage? Is it a little thing that you should get over, or is it a big thing that you can’t let go of? My dad always told me, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” In a year from now, are you going to remember this?
A friend of mine told me about the Bracelet Trick. I laughed in her face at first, until suddenly I played it out in my mind and realized it had so much truth. The Bracelet Trick involves wearing a bracelet and every time you have a negative thought or make a negative comment, you switch the bracelet to the other wrist. After a day of doing this (and I imagine it will work better if your friends hold you accountable), you become very conscious of your thoughts and learn to beat them into submission before they have the chance to infiltrate your mind. (If you see me with a bracelet on, just know that I am not participating in this trick—I just thought it looked cute with my outfit! No, but seriously, a bracelet may be my new watch!)
The truth is, there is almost nothing so hard as overcoming negativity. I imagine that is why we live in a world of depressos addicted to Prozac.
Usually, we don’t have the self-discipline to allow ourselves time to cool down, or to put off the negative thought long enough to get through our workday. Very rarely do we allow ourselves the time to evaluate our thoughts in any kind of productive way because we let our emotions get the best of us.
The only way to tackle the zit-faced loser head on is to begin to make a habit of evaluating our every negative inkling, thought, emotion, or feeling by asking ourselves those three questions—they will ultimately help us realize whether or not the negativity requires any further action and how to act on it so that you are never left with words that should’ve been left unsaid or actions that you can never undo.
So get your bracelet on and fight the spiritual acne on your face with the closest thing to Arbonne: your mind!
