the controversial christian

A curse(d) word: Religion

As a self-proclaimed “pretty good” Christian all my life, moderately opinionated and judgmental at times but with just the right balance of grace and mercy toward others (or so I thought), this past Easter, I finally “got it.” (Yep—another light bulb moment)

Instead of a relationship with God, for YEARS I’ve practiced “religion” without even knowing it.  Not the “religion” in the Book of James that communicates you’ve “got it” when you visit the fatherless and the widows in their affliction (take that, Pharisees—what have you done for THEM lately?), but the binding, oppressing religion that is a complete and total misrepresentation of God and all that He stands for, to say the least.

Now I’ve been back and forth in my spirituality and sometimes even just plain off the map, and I’ve fallen into the mindset of “repent, or else.”  I admittedly struggled with not knowing whether I would make it to Heaven based on the logic of losing your salvation, whether you completely walk away from God or just blow it once.  Living this way, I found myself time and time again to be miserable with no joy and doing things simply because I had to—not out of devotion or even duty, but simply out of morbid fear of going to hell.  Not only is this not a way to live, but it’s not the way God intended for us to live, either.

I’ve also been on the other side of the spectrum, where I just didn’t care either way.  I lived day to day with the notion of “This is just who I am and who I’m going to be,” hoping that God would accept me in spite of my actions and myself, while all but openly refusing to change.  While there seems to be several names for this type of “religion,” (Calvinism or “Once Saved Always Saved”) I believe God loved me and accepted me then, despite my carelessness and selfishness, just like He loves and accepts me now, with a rejuvenated heart that wants to serve and give Him 100 percent. (If you’re one of those people who want Bible verses to validate what I’m saying, just open it, skip over the parts you usually focus on, and look for key words like love, grace, and mercy—believe it or not, they’re there)

What I have learned is the very things that I think I’m doing right in God’s eyes, are the things that block any REAL revival from taking place inside my heart and mind.  Things like judging others (after all, why wouldn’t I judge the married woman flirting with someone who isn’t her husband?), doing the “right” things begrudgingly just because I have to, or being brutally honest with people for the sake of “truth” which “sets you free,” are the very things that have kept grace, mercy, and the many beautiful attributes of God from ever manifesting in my walk. 

“Religion says DO; Jesus says DONE.”  Is it sinking in yet?  Do you live a life of “doing” or do you live a life of confidence that it is DONE?  Like me, once you grasp that Jesus truly did it all for us, you will have the freedom to actually let go of your own foolish wisdom (an oxymoron, yet we hold onto it like it’s worth a million bucks) and allow God to transform you, because you will understand that your salvation doesn’t rest on you and your actions alone.  What a heavy burden that is to carry!  Do you think God wants any of His Children to live in the belief that if they do or don’t do something, they’re screwed—not just temporarily, but forever?  What kind of God do you serve?  What kind of relationship would that be?  Do you treat your loved ones that way?  Why would God treat you that way?

I know—anytime anyone brings up the issue of immeasurable, unmerited grace or anything having to do with “not having to do anything” to be saved, the Pharisaical Advocacy Group will emerge and argue (something they tend to truly enjoy in the name of “ministry”) that you are condoning sin or not placing enough importance on repentance.  That’s the thing—that is exactly how I always felt! Until this past weekend.

Someone reminded me that it’s those who have been forgiven the most have the most love in their hearts for God and others.  This someone is a great friend, but another Someone said the same thing:  Jesus.  Like me, if you’ve for the most part lived out Christianity “by the book,” (as arrogant as that sounds) you’ve probably never experienced the Lord picking you up from rock bottom, or delivering you from the worst circumstances possible.  You’ve never known what it feels like to be that “one lost sheep” or the oh-so-loved “Prodigal Son.”  (I always wondered why the son who did everything right never got any love!)  Just because that was never you, doesn’t mean you can judge the person for whom it was.

Don’t be the “Martha” who scrambled in disarray to make her house presentable for the Lord; as if He didn’t already know what a pigsty it was.  It’s like our lives; we clean it up on the outside, but God knows what’s shoved under the bed and hidden in the closet.  Hello—God already knows the good, bad, and ugly about you!  Why do you fake it? (Sometimes I think they should call it Fakebook)  God can do a lot more in and with you when you stop living in denial and realize you need help just like the types of people you unabashedly judge.  Try being Mary Magdalene—the “whore,” the “prostitute,” the “slut,” who wept at Jesus’ feet, longing for His forgiveness and love, not worrying about her appearance, condition, or anything else in the world except being close to her Heavenly Father.

God doesn’t want who you pretend to be or for you to give your peers the impression that you have it all together.  He wants YOU, raw and uncut.  He wants your thoughts, your cares, your needs, your faults, and your failures.  He wants it all! 

I’ve learned that the way you interact with people is often the way you interact with God.  Do you let people in?  You probably don’t let God in, either.  Are you rude to people?  You’re probably rude to God.  Do you act like you “know it all”?  Then you probably leave God feeling like He can’t teach you anything, either.  Are you distrusting of people?  You probably don’t believe God is in control and has your best interests at heart.  Are you selfish?  Your prayers probably consist of only things God can do for YOU.  Think about it and tell me I’m wrong.

For so long, I put on the “face” and thought I had it right.  Hey, I don’t party, I don’t do drugs, I’m not promiscuous—so I’m good, right?  I’ve had it all wrong.  I’ve put God in the smallest box and have made it thus far, Lord willing, on mostly my own strength, knowledge, and wisdom (what a joke!) which has brought me a lifetime supply of failure, disappointment, a LOT of tiredness, and most importantly, no lasting happiness. (You too can have this if you just do what I’ve always done!)

“Got-it-all-together” Christians hurt nobody but themselves when they choose religion over a relationship.  In fact, they aren’t just hurting themselves; they hurt nonbelievers by making them want nothing to do with the God they claim to serve.  When you focus more on “doing” than the fact that Jesus says it is “done,” you’ll forget all about the most important part—a relationship with God.  Jesus’ last words on the cross were, “It is finished.”  Had he said, “It is.. pending, in the works, or up to YOU,” I’d believe the same hype the Pharisees believed when they refused to have lunch at Jesus’ table—the one with all the sinners.  But He didn’t.  Take His Word for it:  It IS finished.  It is DONE!

“Welcome”
Christina Aguilera

Welcome to the greatest show
Greatest show on earth
You’ve never seen before
Here the fairytale unfolds

What’s behind the smoke and glass?
Painted faces, everybody wears a mask
Are you selling them your soul?
Well you’ll be left out in the cold

Is it all blue skies
Fun and games untill you fall
Then you’re left without anyone at all
You’re riding on a shooting star
With a smile upon your face
But soon the shine fades

And you’re left out all alone
Wondering where did they all go?

Been jaded, hated,
Who’ll be around when the limelight’s faded?
Been shut down, pushed out
Made to smile when I wanted to frown

Always taking a bow
Always working the crowd
Always breaking new ground
Always playing the clown
Who’ll be sticking it out?
Who’ll be staying around
When the lights go down?

Self-Control and Things Einstein Didn’t Teach Us

Quitting something you’re not just used to, but undeniably addicted to, can really bring out the worst in you—or, the best?  So, seven days after I completely quit drinking Diet Coke, I had a light bulb moment that related to my “addiction” but also to my spirituality.

I wouldn’t say I have an addictive personality.  Despite growing up with close family members who had drug problems along with dating addicts, I guess I knew better than to meddle with it, but for what it’s worth, I imagine quitting Diet Coke is not so much easier to give up than quitting an actual drug! Who’s to say what an actual DRUG is anyway?  Caffeine, aspartame (artificial sweetener in Diet Coke), crystal meth, it’s all the same! (Kidding)

Seven days into this, I’m thinking that the constant craving for Diet Coke won’t disappear.  The reason someone overcomes an addiction is not because the desire for that particular substance goes away—it’s because their self-control keeps them from indulging in it.

Much like sin—particularly, that one sin you commit, sometimes daily, similarly to an addiction—self-control is of vital importance if you ever want to be delivered.  This was my light bulb moment.  My personal sins and struggles that discourage me because I can’t seem to shake them, despite being a Christian since I was a kid, will not just magically disappear just because I pray and ask God to take them away.  It all starts (and succeeds) with self-control. 

Lack of self-control is the reason America is predominantly overweight, it is the reason drugs are rampant in this nation, and it is the reason for many physical ailments and disease.  Lack of self-control in any form, with anything, can and will be detrimental; spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Have I mastered self-control?  Not even close.  Frankly, it sucks.  Along with not drinking Diet Coke, I’ve resolved to eat healthier and eat less.  It is not easy and any skinny person who attacks a fat person, calling them “lazy” and a “glutton”—go jump in a lake, because you have no idea how hard it is for some people to maintain a healthy weight.  Just because you weigh 130 and can literally eat bacon grease for every meal and not gain an ounce, doesn’t mean you have any idea what someone else might have to do to look that way.   Or just because you popped a kid out and bounced right back to your pre-pregnancy weight doing virtually nothing, doesn’t give you the right to judge someone like me, who never had to work a day in her life to weigh 140, and 18 months and 20 pounds later, can’t manage to lose the weight with that same logic (and you can probably tell I’m not happy about it). 

The moral of the story is this:  Whether it’s overcoming an addiction to diet coke or praying God delivers you from anger, hate, greed, bitterness, jealousy, laziness, etc.  It all begins with self-control.  Your mind and body (this includes your emotions) will always resort to what they are used to.  We are creatures of habit.  So when you can’t figure out why you can’t control your anger, realize that it starts with self-control.  When you can’t stop assuming the worst in others, remember, it’s because that’s what your mind is used to as a result of doing it for so long. (Side note: Things that require self-control are usually habits that we’ve formed and stuck with for years.)

For me, when I want that cold, bubbly, refreshing taste of a diet fountain drink, it’s because my body is used to it and to change that means having self-control which is the beginning and most important part of breaking a habit, and for most of us, a detrimental one.

If you aren’t willing to take that first step by getting a hold of your life and setting healthy boundaries for yourself (i.e. choosing to see the positive before your mind automatically resorts to the negative, or eating obscene amounts of cheese fries), you can’t expect God to go out of His way to help extinguish that long-time besetting sin that you constantly struggle with.

And like a great friend of mine shared with me to encourage me, JUST DO IT! …even if you suck.

Anonymous asked: How did you know you were in love with, and wanted to marry, your husband?

Because he was the best FRIEND I had ever had; so I knew when and if the fairytale romance faded, we could make it on our friendship alone.  He listened to me and cared more about me than himself!

It’s an “Inside” Thing

What truly provokes you to want to change?  When is the last time something happened to you that made you want to make a change on the inside or the outside?  When is the last time something provoked you to want to change YOU and not someone or something else?

We are creatures of habit and naturally, we get used to doing the same thing over and over, which constitutes as most of us being insane (defined by Albert Einstein as doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results).  Every New Year, we make resolutions most of us never stick to (“re”, the Latin prefix used with the meaning “again” or “again and again” to indicate repetition).  What are we all missing and why do most of us never see our resolutions through?

Achieving your goals is more about being who you need to be on the inside, than piecing around your surroundings to fit the puzzle that you think is your dreams and goals.  It’s not where you are, it’s WHO you are that needs some evaluating.  It’s mostly an inside thing and very minimally an outside thing, but most of us don’t see the need for change within us, as much as we do for change AROUND us. 

Vow to achieve goals you set for yourself every day, and then those things turn to habits, which turn into your character, which results in permanent, hopefully positive change.  You’ll never grow when the goals you set will take a lifetime to achieve or when they seem completely out of reach.  Whatever it is you want for yourself, break it up into a daily challenge or goal (i.e. Today, I will.. or Today, I will make sure I don’t..), work at it every day, and you will get there before you know it.  Kind of AA-ish, but it works!

Needless to say, if you don’t have any goals and you aren’t working toward SOMETHING, you won’t ever be or do anything different than you are at the present time, and that was my wake-up call this week.  Being someone who is content with doing the same thing every day and assuming things will work out how they need to, when they’re supposed to, I’ve never been one for setting goals for myself; plus, I normally don’t see a need for change within myself which has been a downfall of mine since I can remember.  It’s a sad reminder that I could be and do a lot more if I let this old habit go.  And that’s my New Year’s resolution:  Instead of achieving a certain goal, my goal is to start setting goals for myself.

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 29:18

Just Another Day at “Work”

Just when I realize how important it is to forgive even when I don’t want to, this morning, I watch my boss greet a skinny, malnourished drug addict and walk her outside offering to help her.  The kicker? She has been through our rehabilitation program several times and my initial thought, sad to admit, was, “Again?”  People will always need help, a hand up, and someone who believes in them.  Our world is disintegrating deeper and deeper into sin and evil fast while the amount of Christians offering to get down and dirty to revive them decreases.  It is humbling and convicting to be a part of a church that actually gives people like her the help they need to get better and take care of their families and children.  It’s not up to me whether or not I think people deserve another chance, because none of us do, but God gives them to us anyway, time after time after time.  Any interesting stories happen at your place of work this morning? LOL

What if They Didn’t Repent?

So the Bible says in Luke, “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.”  Well here’s a question: what if they haven’t repented?  What if they don’t take any accountability for what they’ve done? What if they’ve said “I’m sorry” but their actions clearly don’t reflect that apology?  Yes, the Bible says over and over to forgive, but why does it say, “..IF he repent?”  “IF” is a pretty key word, wouldn’t you agree? Does that mean God gives us the choice on whether or not we can forgive someone?

I like to think I know God and I also like to think I know the Bible and I believe whether or not someone repents we should forgive them.  Obviously this is easier said than done (otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this) but the truth is God wants us to live abundant, successful lives and the hindrance of bitterness in the back (or front) of your mind can not possibly give you the spiritual gasoline to get ahead in life and be prosperous. 

Bitterness, like pride, can be a silent killer.  You may think you’re over a situation or an event but the truth is forgiveness can require doing it over and over again with no promising end.  Trust me, I know. While I believe that Jesus was adamant about forgiveness, there are some essential things to remember when giving forgiveness your best shot that might give you the push you need to finally let it go.

            People reap what they sow – God is a just and faithful God and no bad deed goes unpunished—and that goes for all of us!  While we shouldn’t wish ill on anyone, it’s important to remember that God takes care of business where reaping and sowing goes.  If you plant roses, you will grow roses.  If you plant deceit, adultery, or arrogance, that’s what will grow.  We may not always see the reaping process in another’s life and we shouldn’t have to, but we need to remember God means what he says.

            He who angers you controls you – Wrongdoing happens to all of us—in fact, who can say they haven’t been the cause of wrongdoing to a loved one?  Not moving on from a past situation or person who has wronged you doesn’t affect anyone but you.  Who needs that?  Once we have come to grips with the fact that they will reap what they’ve sown—besides the fact that we are COMMANDED to pray for them—we need to ask God to help us let that situation or person go so they don’t control the rest of our lives.

            It could’ve been you – I hate to admit this one, but it’s true.  We are all made up of the same flesh, thus we are all capable of all sins.  I tend not to realize I think I’m better than people when I say to myself, “I would NEVER do something like that.”  God always shows me that that is a boisterous, prideful way to think.  Anyone that finds themselves saying that will probably—no, definitely—be humbled soon after.  We are all human and all capable of hurting others, thus we should remember this when the shoe is on the other foot.

I heard it said recently, “Reality is a product of our dreams, decisions, and actions.” That applies to all of us! A person’s reality is a product of their own choices, which should give you the comfort of knowing that terrible deed a person did will not go unpunished, but it should also remind you that your unforgiving mindset will bring about negative outcomes in your own reality as well.

I say all this to say that I have bad news:  If they didn’t repent, we should still forgive them.  Tweet the press.

Not Without Love (Benediction)

By Jimmy Needham

Chin up, head high
All zeal and no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity, it can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, Lord
You died, Lord
Assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in, removes sin, picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree in the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see that Christ is what Christ offers
And I’m finally free in the love of the Father